jenni's blog

I can see myself growing old with my boyfriend. :) he just thought of ways just so I can have something to eat for dinner... I LOVE HIM so much Jesus, thank you for giving him to me.

Dear Jesus,

Reading the posts below is so embarrassing hehe. I have so much to tell you, I have so much to share yet the words aren't coming. 

The last time I came to church I had forgotten my notebook once again. I haven't written in it in a while, I'm not quite sure where it is either. You know what came over me then? Is that despite the little distance thats come over us these past months, You're still there for me. 

I want to go back to not worrying so much. When praising you, communicating with you always made me feel whole. You still shower me with blessings that I'm very grateful for. I believe in you Lord, and I know that whatever worries I may have, I will conquer it with You by my side, surrounded with all the wonderful people you have blessed me with in life. 

I witness all the blessings you've showered those who believe in you, and I feel happy for them. I have so much to be grateful for, then I stop and realize, that I'm to be thankful everyday.

My posts have not been the best maybe that's why I haven't been back in awhile. I talked of the unpleasant times in my relationship, when I should be writing about my amazing relationship with the Love you sent to me. We trip, we fall, but we get right back up... we're still together and everyday we grow. Doesn't that line remind you Jesus of a familiar line I've used many times in this blog, 'I fall but I get right back up' now it's we... but one thing has not changed, I still pray you guide our relationship since that day I've placed it in your hands.

I pray that you take care of my sister's baby and her health, so that she can have a safe delivery! Thank you for blessing our family. Also, please take good care of my parents and brothers. I pray for all the important people in my lives every night along with their family and it makes me feel better.

I Love You Lord! :D

 

 

Dear God,

I Love YOU! My faith in you is not easily swayed. That's probably why I have such strong faith in this relationship. That's why I asked you to take care of it.

I wished his faith was just as strong as mine. But he gives up so easily.

Now he's attacking my self-esteem. I love him very much and I want to be with him.

"Love is rare, grab it." I grab it grab it grab it. But now I'm learning that they need to grab me grab me grab me too. Because no matter if I don't want to leave, I realized it's possible to lose me too. In the 23 years of my life, I always believed that I'll always be the one to lose something. But now, I see how much I try, how much I take... and I realized I am good enough, that I'm worth something... that he who has me, shouldn't want to lose me too.

Please don't give up. I won't either. I'm far from from giving up. Because I believe that this is a blessing, it needs patience and understanding because to me its worth while. 

 

fall time and red lips. :)

Though I have so many things plaguing my mind lately, I'm able to not let it stress me over. I believe that Jesus will get me through this. He's given me enough reasons to remain strong. I know he will take care of me.

Instead of stressing, I should really be enjoying life and all that He's given me plus more. Lord, I am so grateful and so happy, thank you so much for answering my prayers. Remember all those nights hehe, I told you that it would be the best Christmas plus birthday present I will ever receive and now this baby is coming. I'm so excited to know the gender of this bundle of joy that's to come! I'm just so ecstatic, thankful, and happy!!! Please take care of my family dear Jesus, and guide my sister to a healthy delivery. I cannot wait to meet this baby Best Friend, thank you so much!!!

And speaking of presents, you felt the need and gave me another wonderful blessing in my life. Someone to learn from and be happy, teary, sad, and excited with. Always with an ear to listen, who knows just what to say to make me feel loved and happy through whatever. And I forgot, someone to argue with so I never get bored...ever lol. I Love him Jesus, thank you! I've always placed everything in your hands to protect, so please guide our relationship forever.

Goodnight Jesus, I LOVE YOU! :)

i will be here...

 

There's no room for even small mistakes.

People shouldn't make other people feel stupid or dumb, especially if its someone they care about.

Dear Jesus,

I don't know Jesus. I feel like I'm in a relationship put on hold. If I was to lose my relationship tomorrow... I don't want to find myself asking you in the bathroom, why? I'll cry.

Maybe I am bitter, because I can see his relationship with her is so tremendously important to him, exceeding ours. But its not all selfishness on my part. I'm bitter cause he's doing everything. I wish she would do something too. Save your bestfriend relationship please. Make him feel better too.

And I wish he could understand my position in the situation between his cousin and mine. Jesus, I believe she was lied to. And I feel bad for her, because to one day just receive hate messages with mean messages. I'd feel angry and definitely hurt as well, even if I know it wasn't true I'd feel bad too Jesus, especially if  I'm not sure if my bestfriend/cousin might have heard about it and believed the accusation. Sigh.. On friday she will be relieved to know that her cousin defended her and protected her.  I do believe that she was telling the truth about being lied to but to clear everything up I didn't hurt my cousin for her, and I didn't just believe her because of my bf. Ugh, I hurt May**h uintentionally already, that hurt me too.

As for me. I'm grateful I have been forgiven by my cousin when I expressed my opinion. But right now I realize that that was my mistake. I should've just kept that to myself. It hurts me too that all the blame seems like its being shifted to my cousin. She did something wrong, I know that. But she obviously shouldn't be blamed for everything. I hope that my bf's cousin relays to him that my cousin did apologize after sending that message, she was lied to and cheated on and she was angry, frustrated and hurt, that shouldn' be an excuse but maybe they'll find it in their hearts to understand her. I just hate for my cousin to seem only as a ridiculous and psycho girlfriend. She was threatened obviously... and for good reasons. Yes she wrote a letter that she shouldn't have written, but the message was obviously ignored, because if it wasn't... what went down last summer wouldn't have happened. And I am truly disappointed that it had to happen to this day because even my relationship is being affected.

As for our relationship. I'll find out after he fixes his relationship with his bestfriend. I'm scared that in the future, I'll always be wrong if it involves his family and me. Not that I plan to get in the way, but I don't want to end up like that. I know I was wrong for being upset tonight, but I'm just scared I guess and I didn't know how to tell him. I am sorry, family first I get it. I didn't mean to get in the way, it wasn't my intention. Anyway maybe I'm just complicated, but I am only human.  

Anyway that's all Jesus. 

:)

So I haven't been blogging but I have some good stuff to share.

 

First of all, days ago I had a facetime date with my boyfriend to celebrate out 6th monthsary of being together. We just ate together, talked, and watched a movie. I love him so much and I've just been blessed to have him in my life. Thank you Jesus. 

Second of all, I was able to pass with a grade of 95 for my first speech in my public speaking class. I was so nervous and I can't my presentation was better anyone else's, sadly hehe but Im so happy I got a good grade. I love that my boyfriend was very helpful to me during that time. I really appreciate that.

I'm going to do my graduation application next week for fall. I'm going to be sitting down with an adviser to see if I can graduate with two associate degrees.

 

God will provide for me. :)

 

Also, I just finish ordering two things from yesstyle.com. Thank you Jesus! And I just want to post pics of what I bought. It was my first time shopping from there.

 I just they were cute. Hehe :)

:(

My body is so exhausted. I have not had a day off in a while. And on top of that ever since yesterday I've just been feeling lonely. Sigh. I'm lonely. :(